Again- I'm a bit behind on blogging, but the emotion is still fresh. My mom, along with my step dad and four siblings, moved to Missouri at the end of February for a fresh start. While they had been talking about it for a while, and it seemed like it would never actually happen, one day everything just fell into place, and they were moved before I felt I could really digest it. But that's life, I suppose- you never know what tomorrow may bring, so treat each precious day as if it were your last. (My youngest brother is not pictured, as he was too little to come outside in the cold, but I of course love him, too!)
Back story: I was an only child until I was 14 years old (in my household). I finished high school with two baby siblings, and shortly thereafter had a third. I got married two years ago, and shortly after that was big sister again (they're done now, hehe). I was the built in baby sitter (lucky me, right?), but because of the huge gap in our ages, I've always felt a little more than a sibling's responsibility for them. It was difficult for me to move from Vancouver, WA to Seattle, WA and be away from them when I got married, but knowing they were within driving distance soon helped me overcome my irrational feelings that I was somehow neglecting them.
To the present: I still feel a little helpless, like I won't be able to really "be there" for my little brothers when they need advice about mom, or girls at church or school, or that my one baby sister (okay, she's almost 7, but still little) will start to forget how much her big sissy loves her. I want ever so much to be a part of their lives, to watch them grow up, not just hear them over the photo or in grainy cell phone pictures. I want to take their pictures with my "fancy" camera, and spend hours editing them and making scrapbooks and photo albums with their images, just because I can. But those days are gone- my siblings are now 2000 miles away from me, way outside of driving distance, and flying is way too expensive to make a habit of that, too.
So I'm left with memories of our last visit together, spending the day at my great-grandmother's house, walking around the neighborhood after dinner, enjoying the infectious laughter and joy that they have.
Until next time, with all my love - Big Sissy <3
All images ©
Felicia Sinclair Photography 2014
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